you, yourself and your memories.

That's what life is eventually about right?
You, yourself and your memories.

People come, people go. You just need to learn how to live with it. No such things as friends forever. You should after being through so many phases of life. Just when you feel that the bond is never going to be broken, it breaks. It happens.

People change. So go ahead, take his side. Throw things and cry and let him comfort you while I sit here and wonder what just happened. So much for asking me not to go home. You know how it feels when you lose both friends at once? It sucks. Especially when everyone else is affected by it too. It's normal you say. I beg to differ. If you didn't get together with him, we would have been happily bitching about it.

It hurts when I am trying so hard to hold on to all these bonds that matter so much to me and others just cut that bond. I thought all of us were more than that. I thought that after living in the same hall and corridor for 2 years, our relationships would be different, but its not.

I'm just very tired and disappointed. I really am trying. But I can't hold out if everyone else continues breaking all the bonds that held us together.

I never felt so lonely here before. I am surrounded with people but I can't help feeling lonely.

看人家的脸色看得有点累了。
The negative energy is coming from you.
Please let everything be over soon.
Im tired of avoiding stepping on your toes.
Enough is enough. Thanks.

Its weird how things can change in the blink of an eye.

Like how being super good friends can change in just a matter of days.
And how crushes can become really really bad from just an event.
Well, it just serves to remind me that change is the only constant in life.

I recently got to know this friend of mine better, and I realized that he's a really nice person. I mean I knew that all along, but it suddenly occurred to me that everyone has a story to share. You just need to ask and be genuinely concerned about the person to find out more. I like talking to him. And it makes me a tad jealous when he talk to other people now. Haha. Life's weird eh? Its like claiming ownership of something that was never yours. Oh wells, I like hanging out with them. They are fun. I would give alot to

Midterms are over for this week. Life's gonna be a mad rush after this. Like really mad. With CAs, friends and hall events coming up, time's just gonna fly. Midterms were generally ok this time around and I hope my mugging has been effective AND that it will reflect in my results. I think I am not gonna do honours anymore, but its this pride thing which has been bugging me. I want to take a honours degree to show people that I can do it.

OMG, IM GONNA PLAY THE PIANO. BYE

one head, 3 big ones

I was joking. Why you so angst? Its not my fault that you didn't study much for this paper. Plus its only 10%. Why so serious? I thought we knew each other better than that. Sometimes, I think the people that I am close too are just too weird. I will probably never understand them and live in fear for the rest of my life. It sucks.

Why do I feel so affected and cringy and weird when I found out that he might have a crush? Its none of my business as to who he has a crush on right? I just want him as a brother the way I wanted bear to be a brother. Keep it that way please.

I am not sure about my feelings to you. Settle for second best? I doubt so. The so many years of relationship that we have should be worth more than that ok. Ya, ok. Please please get me out of this situation. Shall go with you on saturday. Spend more time together.

BEHAVE YOURSELF. I'M WATCHING.
CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS, NO MORE WANDERING THOUGHTS.

Busy bee

Hall life as always, has been exciting.
With the conclusion of pres Tan''s speed dating, one hundred and one things totally surfaced.

Like how many girls in hall are actually interested in him and are actually willing to show da love. LOL
Brave people we have around here. But I guess that's what we call fighting for what you want. Not that I would in this case. Then again, how often have I fought for the things that I want?

V-day was boring. For me at least. Spent it mugging for Microbio test. Of course there were shows to watch. Haha. With such hapz friends, I couldn't expect more eh:)
There was coffee girl, starbucks dates, interesting smses, paper markets, HTHT with my touch girls.
Where else but hall can you find so many things happening at the same time. Ok, I take back what I said, it wasn't boring. I kinda enjoyed it.

Not forgetting the twins booking out for the first time:) So sweet of Tim to call me to talk. Didn't expect that but oh well. I'm glad he did. And I'm glad I showed them the awesomeness of KE 7.

So here's the cruz of the whole post.
We had a drinking session. Yup, drink. Germs and drink don't come together in a sentence unless the word never is present. Anyway, it happened. On the pretext of pres Tan's birthday.
I must admit, I really suck. And Vicks is not bad.

So I kinda fell asleep on the couch. I swear I wasn't drunk. Just sleepy. When I was awake, I heard and understood more than anyone in the room did that day. And I have to admit, some topics were erm, interesting.

Jo and our good friend V got pretty drunk. And Jo was left on the couch with me. Alone. In the lounge. How's that huh? What happened was weird and I kinda wonder what I was thinking that night. But it felt..strangely nice. Maybe because I miss having contact. And the little bit of conversations that we had was pretty funny too. Anyway, I was afraid that things would be awkward but he seems to either forgotten or he is acting that it didn't happen too. Well, that way's fine with me. Rather friends than nothing. He can be kinda cute actually. Weird things keep playing in my head. The conversations keep replaying in my head every night too.I wonder if there is something wrong with my morales. Oh well. I hope all of us will still keep in contact after leaving hall.

Boyfriend's back tmr:)
I miss him. Even though I don't know what's up in the future for us, its good to have him back.
He will be able to take my mind of funny thoughts. No more being deprived of hugs and pats.
Pretty excited about it. But I still gotta study ok. See this? STUDY.

And I miss Linhui too. Its weird not having him in the lounge. Its weird with Max and ZY whsipering behind me.

Right now, I just need to retreat into my little fantasy bubble and crash

I MISS YOU. So much.

Miss ur warm body, miss talking to you, miss you asking me to study.

Need u back b4 I go cuckoo.

So much things happening in hall recently. Too much for me to catch up on. Honestly, it makes me doubt myself. Do I do things correctly? Am I gossiping too much? Should somethings be shared? Feels weird to feel so unsure. 

Come back soon sweetie. I need to talk to you. Need you to reassure me.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Sometimes I really wished that I loved someone else.
I don't like what you are doing but I love you for who you are.
How many more times must this happen now that you are where you want to be?
Nobody likes disappointment.
I wish you were a different person but the person I love is you.
Its not your fault. If its anybody's fault, its probably mine.

40% CA. I need to focus. Concentrate germs.