nv thought tt i would blog.
but im feeling quite pissed with the whole world.

is acadamics really tt impt?
18 pts ain't tt bad.
why does she hv to make it sound like its the end of the world and cry over it??
honestly,get a life.
don't it occur to u tt he might already be feeling v bad about it?

i cant stand religion.
why must ppl gt so anal over it??
honestly,it pisses me when i see ppl using religion to solve everything.
maybe u can say im jealous over their faith.
how they can trust smth even though they hvnt really seen a supreme being with their own eyes.
im sry,it just dun work with me.
it kinds of pisses me off when even ppl i dont expect to believe in a religion start quoting god.
i gt nthing against them.
they are ppl tt i love.i jz dun understd them.

maybe they dun understd me either.
maybe tts why im so attracred to both z and hy.
cuz they are uber non believers.
jz tt smttimes when u see the ppl u love so smitten by religion,it kills me.
to me,i will do all the necessary things tt my relatives want me to do,even after they die.
its more of a sense of duty rather then believing.

and i dun understd.
why do u always hv to pull me into joining bb.
im nt her.
i wont convert bcuz of u
im stronger than tt.
everytime u bring religion up,bb up.im reminded of her.
i wonder if u are comparing us.
if u hope tt she is me when u see her attending to ur boys.
even if u dun compare,i feel uneasy.
its difficult to trust u again.
everytime u go for bb stuff,i dun like it.
cuz it means u r going to be with her.
i dun want to know about the both of u.thankyouverymuch
it makes me dislike bb to such an extent.
i dun want u to join bb anymore cuz of her.
neither do i want u to quit cuz i know u wont be happy.
i dun want to join bb cuz i will start hcing the compare feeling again.
im starting to hv doubts again.
maybe an alternative route may be easier.
but i dun dare to take tt step when i rememberd how hard it was to see u ard with smone else.]
maybe im tt selfish.

i saw ur photos today.
i so want to be part of ur world.
maybe i dun know enough.

im kind of hurt tt sl dun want to go back to alumni.
how can smth tt means so much jz mean nthing over a period of 2yrs??
i cant bring tt feeling back anymore,try as i might.
oh.she's online.

no longer living in my happy little world