i went to np just now.
send the doggie for grooming then i went to walk walk.
i saw this really nice long sleeve shirt with the waist thingy in the middle.
$39 bucks.oh man.i really like it.
i can imagine me and my dream guy going out in tt and when we wake up in the morning,i just wear tt shirt and make breakfast:)

i saw a guy hoodie too.
i want him to wear tt:))
i gt a fetish for guys in hoodies.
imagine us strolling along the beach,me in my dress,him in his hoodie.
AWW.

i miss doggie.
something feels missing without him ard.
like i expect him to plonk beside me anytime.
and like i need to scold him too.
haha.miss u doggie

PACK LIST:))

clothes
grey dress
shorts and singlet
sweater

Tolietries
shampoo
body wash
face wash
shaver
towel
toothbrush
toothpaste

Misc
shoes
comb
moisturiser
water bottle
camera?

Food
cupnoodles
chips
chocolate
campbell?

wazzup

three more weeks till April the 12th.

26th march,fri:BAND:)
27th march,saturday:steamboat dinner with 13a

29th march,monday:cycle
30th march,tuesday:date with sweets:)
2nd april,friday:good friday
3rd april,saturday:stupid wedding dinner

5th april,monday:mee siam day
8th april,thursday:spca,dogs
10th april,saturday:bryan's concert

BORING.

mega uber ultra bored.
nobody to go out with.
im dying of cabin fever.there is nothing to do at home.
really nothing.
nothing on fb,nothing on blogs,nobody online.
i dun wanna do photos anymore.
i dun wanna do my uni scholar app and neither do i want do my tuition essays.

i needa life.im bored.really bored.

i cant wait for 12 and 13 april.
please let everything go according to plan..
i wanna blow ur mind away.three more weeks.
please be as excited as me ok..

so here's what i have on from now until 12 april.

26th march fri:BAND:))
27th march,sat:steamboat outing

30th march,tues:cycling with dawn lim???
31st march,wed:secret seven at chomp chomp
2nd april,fri:BAND:)
3rd april,sat:stupid wedding dinner

i wanna go clubbing.somebody bring me please.

i miss all of the seven of us.
nice to be talking and planning.

i was thinking abt my funeral today.
abit morbid given tt im 19 this year.
i want a quiet funeral.
prolly something like in the christian setting.
but without hymns and pastor cuz it will make me ponder abt life.
who wants to ponder about life when we are dead right.
yups.
so everybody who knows me can come up and say a few words about me.

letter to you

things between us getting really stressed up again lately.
im starting to doubt if we can really get together in the future.
esp with all our differences.
you are such a religious person.
honestly,it really irks me.
i dun think i can live with someone who does everything in relation to god.
i dun like what u did last night.
why give me all tt nonsense when u wanted to go out with them in the first plc?
then u didnt even reply my sms and didnt even msg me today.
scared?i dun think so.
i dun think i will marry u.
i jz dun dare to let go.
maybe its cuz of selfish reasons,im afraid tt i cant function without u.
and tt if i see u with another girl again before i get together with someone,i will feel horrible.
i feel like doing everything to jz piss u off and get u jealous and get u to pay attention to me.
maybe tts why i h been going shopping,thinking of going clubbing.
i hate it when things feel this way

i miss sajc.
im super bored now.
i really miss all my buddies,the uniform and yes,even the studying.

oh.
did i mention tt i miss band after skipping for one week?
but i dread screwing up tmr too.
well,actually,i want to see you

im sick of life again.
tws pissed me off today.he got pissed by smth tt he usually doesnt get pissed off with.
sometimes i think tt im a super demandin person.
i can do things to people but people cant do the same back to me.
ahh,whatever.

i dunno what to do with uni application.
i refuse to talk abt it cuz i know mum will go on and on and on and it will jz piss me big time.
so even though they really need to know whts going on,i refuse to open my big mouth.
damn.
sometimes it really takes lots and lots of patience to interact with people nicely.
especially if that someone is somebody tt u look up to,love, and expect alot from.
i need to stop being bitchy.

physiotherapy,byebye.
vet,hopetosee you again.
i really admire ruimin for putting whatever she has and known for 17 years behind to go and pursue her dream.
tws thinks im chicken and i know he kinda looks down on me cuz i dun want to chase my dream.
well,sometimes,i think im chicken too.
but i cant leave my responsibilities behind just like that.
its irresponisible.

circumstances made me the person i am today.
like it or not,it has subconciously became a part of me.
as much as i dun believe in religion,i believe tt there is a god
and that he put me here for a reason.

maybe tts why mum doesnt help out.
tts why she gave birth to me first.
tts why dad always plays the role of mum.
tts why i was brought up by my grandparents.
tts why i gt a useless pig of a brother who does nothing except create messes.
i am here for a reason and i just need to follow my heart,
but sometimes,following ur heart is nt as easy as you think.
it means doing stupid things tt u will never dream of doing and that includes giving up ur dream.
well,to make myself feel better,
its nt giving up,just postponing.

i need guidance.
show me the light