so here goes

my relationship with boyfriend seems funny.physical attraction is not there anymore.and i cant help but wonder if we are using each other for the wrong purpose.maybe its someone up there telling me to end this relationship.but i dont want to.as much as i may think tt we are not suitable for each other,i dont want to.even if i dony love him anymore or vicey versa,i really dont want to.im too dependent on him already.i hope that things will go back to normal for us soon.

touch rug is on sunday.and OMG we are really not prepared for it.i experienced a sense of de javu tonight when training ending.i blamed myself for skipping trainings,for doing training just for the sake of doing it.i blamed my teammates for npt showing up consistenly for trainings.most of all,i told myself that if i cccould turn back time,i would have done things different and trained harder.it felt like the night before SYF where i felt like kicking myself in the ass for not practising hard enough.i dont think i will get another chance to play like this for hall anymore.

soccer friendly was much better.at least we drawed with RH after the previous defeating 4-0.i felt a sense of acheivement tt soccer training did pay off after all.

i saw the unseen side of many people today.

1.eyecandy
i nv seen him so fierce before.i guess he must hv been very stressed out by the game on sunday.he exudes this authoritative aura around him when he plays and its quite mesmerizing.i really hope that things turn out well for the guys team.they deserve to win so much more than the girls deserve to.and after all the hardwork they put in,i hope it really pays off.i wanted to go to him and tell him not to be so stressed out, nt becuz i eyeandy him or whatever but because i would do something like that for a friend that i feel is in need.

2.vic
poor girl.she always looks so happy.but i think tt everyone has their own fair share of problems.maybe she will feel better if she talks about it to people but she doesnt seem to want to.i think we are both quite alike in some ways.

i just want you to know that if you ever need a listening ear,i will be there.i cant promise that i wont judeg you but i will try my best to listen,advise, and be your friend.after all,who am i to judge?i want you to know that there are people who will face the problems that you have in life with you.even if they cant share your burden,at least let them accompany you through your journey.

three things that im grateful of
1.nice boyfriend who took care of me when i was having flu.just being there made me feel better
2.the wonderful friends that i have in hall.thanks for all the encouragement,get well soons and talk and ice cream
3.my flu that has almost recovered.it means tt i will be in gd form on sunday for IHG.

good night world.studying has to start tomorrow.