i couldnt resist even though i told myself slp at 1230.

who am i to judge?i dunno.i think this world is nv fair.i nv thought tt a 10min interview is enough to determine a person's character.but apparently,thats what happens everywhere in the world.and thats how you end up with ppl on gov scholarship being caught for possessing child porn. there's got to be someone to determine your fate.maybe fate isnt tt good a word to use here,but well..u get it.someone has to do the cut.thats the way an organisation works.u cant have 100 ppl getting the same oscar.you just have to compete with the best and in the end,the best man wins.the man who wins may not be the best,but when you took up that challenge, you should learn to accept the T&Cs.it might not be fair,human prejuidices always get into the way but nothing's perfect.you just hv to come up with a way to eliminate people.of course, ideally,u would want to give everyone a chance.but there's the problem of cost to take into account too.

sometimes you just got to admit tt shit happens,and hell,it does happen often.if your attitude is to give in and complain and moan your life away about how unfair things are, then the one who lost is really you.you dont lose when you get eliminated,you lose when you let that one failure determine the rest of your life.

then again,its easy to preach.its about practising what you hold.

i wonder if the touch ruggers find me annoying.seriously,joining IVP when i cant throw a long ball?its a love hate relationship.im so excited to go for trainings but at the same time,im pretty nervous.and tt makes me do dumb stuff ie:drop ball,chuck ball.and kok scares me.karen doesnt,she's pretty nice.im torn btw staying and leaving.i need to ask someone if im screwing up their training.i dont want ppl to think tt im so thick skin to join IVP despite nt knowing how to tap and go.but when alycia asked,i thought it would be ok cuz she really reassured me tt as long as i have heart,they will want me.but apparently, i need thick skin, calm, and guts too.

trouble at home again recently.grandma performing stunts.which makes me wonder if i should stay in hall.but i want to.because i wont be able to concentrate at home cuz i'll be too obliged to look after grandma.and i need smth to distract me nxt year when all the chages start coming in again.and i want to play touch.its really at the point when you flip the coin tt you know what is it you really want.i have nv let flipping a coin determine my decisions.dont get me wrong,i do flip it.just tt most of time,i rethink my decision after flipping the coin.ahhh,humans

sometimes,i just get very tired with this world tt we live in