just another wonderful day

i just realised tt maybe,grandma having late nights might be the person up there's way of allowing me to bond with her.the things tt i will remember of her will be how she likes to flick my chin and ask me to slp,how she walks around smiling at me,and tell me that im the most guai one.

i had a good day today.


went for tee's grad today.im really proud of him.and today,he impressed me again.how he would rather take his grad photo with his family.i guess we still hv lots to learn about each other.his dad was really nice.i like talking to him.it makes me feel pretty at home.but his mum seems..distant.i was kinda hoping tt i will take a photo with her,that photo tt made me so envious.maybe its just today's circumstances that didnt give the chance too?or maybe she doesnt like me as much?well,whatever it is,i like being with them.i will make her like me,i will do my best to win her over.for him,i will do alot.

thanks for giving me and us another chance to prove that we are not animals and that we can control our emotions.i will really try to keep the promise that i made.the past few days have been hell.i didnt sleep properly,funny dreams keep happening.i keep thinking that the dreams were visions of what i should do.but i guess they just served as a reminder of how hard things will get if it had really happened.i was really scared and i really hated myself for being so dumb.seriously,how bimbotic was that a way to prove myself?and when the consequences are so dire.i really learnt my lesson.help me keep my promise,god.tee was a brick.i mean,i didnt know what i expected from him but the way he did things really made me felt that we were in this together, and that no matter what the outcome was, we will solve it together.it suddenly dawned on me that this is really the guy that i want to marry.he might not be romantic but i know that he definetely cares for me.

talking to jon also made my day.

i think i have been so caught up in the politics of PA thati kinda forgot my real purpose of going to cambodia.talking to him made me re-analyze the situation and i remembered my purpose.one must understand that germaine is someone who is afraid to be out of place.the only reason why i joined PA without any friends is because i really want to serve the people in cambodia.i want to make that difference in their lives,i want to bring them joy and put smiles onto their faces.screw the organisation.screw the director,screw the logistics.screw the girly girls.i shall just go there and do my best for the cambodians.


thanks tee and jon for making my day.


tomorrow,i shall start packing.