you can laugh but i will stand by my thoughts:)
i love cny.it means quite alot to me.
like how we will go garden on the eve eve.
how we sit around so cramped up around the table and eat steamboat,the disgusting things tt we cook,the alcohol tt we take.
how we spend eve at yishun and go to the temple at night.how we pack hongbaos to shou sui.how we rush back to yishun the next morning.
how we kai nian,then kai again at fi yi yi's house,followed by poker and what not.
i dont like them because i believe in the traditions or whatnot.its just a very dear feeling tt i hold close to me cuz i have been repeating this whole routine countless of times in my whole life.they mean alot to me i guess,especially as i grow older and realise that people might not be here the next time we celebrate again.i wonder how long it will take for other people to realise that.others refer to fong gu,mum n my asshole bro.i want to continue all these forever and ever.but i know its difficult cuz eventually,i will have my own family.
but i believe tt family is when everyone makes the effort to come together no matter how busy they are.
hey you up there,
thanks for giving me this beautiful family tt i have:)
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
20
im turning 20.and at 20,you would think that i would have already gotten pass and used to certain things in life.
unfortunately,tts still a no.haha
i find myself tongue tied when i talk to people who i deemed are 'cooler' than me.seriously,how childish can this be right?if its someone of equal status or lower,then i feel that i can talk and i think i keep the coversation going.i swear tt its completly unintentional.i didnt even notice it until recently.
im very proud of the blueblack on my hip because i got it frm touch rug.YAYNESS.i want to show it to everyone but i cant walk around in my underwear right?
well,i dont wanna grow up if it means tt i have to decide on a career.it also means tt i cant wear shorts and shirt to work.seriously,i need to start dressing like a 20 year old.and hey guess what,i hv never ever used nail polish in my life.neither do i intend to at the time being.
unfortunately,tts still a no.haha
i find myself tongue tied when i talk to people who i deemed are 'cooler' than me.seriously,how childish can this be right?if its someone of equal status or lower,then i feel that i can talk and i think i keep the coversation going.i swear tt its completly unintentional.i didnt even notice it until recently.
im very proud of the blueblack on my hip because i got it frm touch rug.YAYNESS.i want to show it to everyone but i cant walk around in my underwear right?
well,i dont wanna grow up if it means tt i have to decide on a career.it also means tt i cant wear shorts and shirt to work.seriously,i need to start dressing like a 20 year old.and hey guess what,i hv never ever used nail polish in my life.neither do i intend to at the time being.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
so here goes
my relationship with boyfriend seems funny.physical attraction is not there anymore.and i cant help but wonder if we are using each other for the wrong purpose.maybe its someone up there telling me to end this relationship.but i dont want to.as much as i may think tt we are not suitable for each other,i dont want to.even if i dony love him anymore or vicey versa,i really dont want to.im too dependent on him already.i hope that things will go back to normal for us soon.
touch rug is on sunday.and OMG we are really not prepared for it.i experienced a sense of de javu tonight when training ending.i blamed myself for skipping trainings,for doing training just for the sake of doing it.i blamed my teammates for npt showing up consistenly for trainings.most of all,i told myself that if i cccould turn back time,i would have done things different and trained harder.it felt like the night before SYF where i felt like kicking myself in the ass for not practising hard enough.i dont think i will get another chance to play like this for hall anymore.
soccer friendly was much better.at least we drawed with RH after the previous defeating 4-0.i felt a sense of acheivement tt soccer training did pay off after all.
i saw the unseen side of many people today.
1.eyecandy
i nv seen him so fierce before.i guess he must hv been very stressed out by the game on sunday.he exudes this authoritative aura around him when he plays and its quite mesmerizing.i really hope that things turn out well for the guys team.they deserve to win so much more than the girls deserve to.and after all the hardwork they put in,i hope it really pays off.i wanted to go to him and tell him not to be so stressed out, nt becuz i eyeandy him or whatever but because i would do something like that for a friend that i feel is in need.
2.vic
poor girl.she always looks so happy.but i think tt everyone has their own fair share of problems.maybe she will feel better if she talks about it to people but she doesnt seem to want to.i think we are both quite alike in some ways.
i just want you to know that if you ever need a listening ear,i will be there.i cant promise that i wont judeg you but i will try my best to listen,advise, and be your friend.after all,who am i to judge?i want you to know that there are people who will face the problems that you have in life with you.even if they cant share your burden,at least let them accompany you through your journey.
three things that im grateful of
1.nice boyfriend who took care of me when i was having flu.just being there made me feel better
2.the wonderful friends that i have in hall.thanks for all the encouragement,get well soons and talk and ice cream
3.my flu that has almost recovered.it means tt i will be in gd form on sunday for IHG.
good night world.studying has to start tomorrow.
touch rug is on sunday.and OMG we are really not prepared for it.i experienced a sense of de javu tonight when training ending.i blamed myself for skipping trainings,for doing training just for the sake of doing it.i blamed my teammates for npt showing up consistenly for trainings.most of all,i told myself that if i cccould turn back time,i would have done things different and trained harder.it felt like the night before SYF where i felt like kicking myself in the ass for not practising hard enough.i dont think i will get another chance to play like this for hall anymore.
soccer friendly was much better.at least we drawed with RH after the previous defeating 4-0.i felt a sense of acheivement tt soccer training did pay off after all.
i saw the unseen side of many people today.
1.eyecandy
i nv seen him so fierce before.i guess he must hv been very stressed out by the game on sunday.he exudes this authoritative aura around him when he plays and its quite mesmerizing.i really hope that things turn out well for the guys team.they deserve to win so much more than the girls deserve to.and after all the hardwork they put in,i hope it really pays off.i wanted to go to him and tell him not to be so stressed out, nt becuz i eyeandy him or whatever but because i would do something like that for a friend that i feel is in need.
2.vic
poor girl.she always looks so happy.but i think tt everyone has their own fair share of problems.maybe she will feel better if she talks about it to people but she doesnt seem to want to.i think we are both quite alike in some ways.
i just want you to know that if you ever need a listening ear,i will be there.i cant promise that i wont judeg you but i will try my best to listen,advise, and be your friend.after all,who am i to judge?i want you to know that there are people who will face the problems that you have in life with you.even if they cant share your burden,at least let them accompany you through your journey.
three things that im grateful of
1.nice boyfriend who took care of me when i was having flu.just being there made me feel better
2.the wonderful friends that i have in hall.thanks for all the encouragement,get well soons and talk and ice cream
3.my flu that has almost recovered.it means tt i will be in gd form on sunday for IHG.
good night world.studying has to start tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
God: “I love that story, Noah and the Ark. You know a lot of people miss the point of that story. They think its about God’s wrath and anger”.
Evan’s Wife: “What is the story about then? the Ark?”
God: “Well I think its a love story, about believing in each other. You know the animals showed up in pairs, they stood by each other side by side. Just like Noah and his family.”
Evan’s Wife: “But my husband says God told him to do it. What do you do with that?”
God: “Sounds like an opportunity, let me ask you something… If someone prays for patience, you think God gives him patience? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage? Or does He give them the opportunity to be courageous? If some one prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feeling or does He give the opportunities for them to love each other?”
Evan’s Wife: “What is the story about then? the Ark?”
God: “Well I think its a love story, about believing in each other. You know the animals showed up in pairs, they stood by each other side by side. Just like Noah and his family.”
Evan’s Wife: “But my husband says God told him to do it. What do you do with that?”
God: “Sounds like an opportunity, let me ask you something… If someone prays for patience, you think God gives him patience? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage? Or does He give them the opportunity to be courageous? If some one prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feeling or does He give the opportunities for them to love each other?”
i saw this on jingwen's fb page
Cinderella walked on broken glass. Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass. Belle fell in love with a hideous beast. Jasmine married a common thief. Ariel walked on land for love and life. Snow White barely escaped a knife. It was all about blood, sweat, and tears, because love, means facing your biggest fears
Cinderella walked on broken glass. Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass. Belle fell in love with a hideous beast. Jasmine married a common thief. Ariel walked on land for love and life. Snow White barely escaped a knife. It was all about blood, sweat, and tears, because love, means facing your biggest fears
today:)
today,i saw 2 wonderful people on the bus.it was nice talking to them and it made me feel much better about myself and some other issues that i have.
so i thought of something.i actually prayed at seletar today.it felt like a right thing to do in that peaceful place with the water running and the smell of the salty sea breeze.i asked for guidance to the issues that i have on hand now.i wonder if the bus incident was a coincidence or was it a sign.
and i thought of something again.
someone told me that u will only feel god when u are down in the lowest point in ur life.maybe its true.today's incident made me realise tt sometimes,u are so desperate tt u ask for help and u try to find signs that match to what you think.so u can look at it frm 2 sides.
1.it was really a form of guidance
2.you would rather think that its a form of guidance and follow it cuz you have no idea what to do.
for today,i think it was abit of both.
touch rugby was super good today.it felt nice to be muddy and running like a mad dog on the field.sports cheer me up immensely.im really thinking of taking up touch rug in some other ways.i hope we do well at IHG.
had a catch up session with my b2 girls today.it was so good.just sat there and nua the time away,talking about anything and everything.its a good feeling.
i think from today onwards,i will try and record down 3 things tt im thankful of in tt day.tt will make me a happier person.and now,its time to sleep and wake up early for bf tmr.after which will be followed by studying and napping b4 lect.
so i thought of something.i actually prayed at seletar today.it felt like a right thing to do in that peaceful place with the water running and the smell of the salty sea breeze.i asked for guidance to the issues that i have on hand now.i wonder if the bus incident was a coincidence or was it a sign.
and i thought of something again.
someone told me that u will only feel god when u are down in the lowest point in ur life.maybe its true.today's incident made me realise tt sometimes,u are so desperate tt u ask for help and u try to find signs that match to what you think.so u can look at it frm 2 sides.
1.it was really a form of guidance
2.you would rather think that its a form of guidance and follow it cuz you have no idea what to do.
for today,i think it was abit of both.
touch rugby was super good today.it felt nice to be muddy and running like a mad dog on the field.sports cheer me up immensely.im really thinking of taking up touch rug in some other ways.i hope we do well at IHG.
had a catch up session with my b2 girls today.it was so good.just sat there and nua the time away,talking about anything and everything.its a good feeling.
i think from today onwards,i will try and record down 3 things tt im thankful of in tt day.tt will make me a happier person.and now,its time to sleep and wake up early for bf tmr.after which will be followed by studying and napping b4 lect.
Monday, January 10, 2011
welcome to my life
do you ever feel like breaking down?
do you ever feel outta place?
like somehow you just dont belong and no one understands you.
how can people understand me when i dont understand myself?hmm..but whatever.
i skipped ONO dinner again today.so as you can tell,im nt exactly the most sociable person on earth.i dont see how people can make the effort to go to a meeting to meet up with new friends/people that dont really matter to them.i have a feeling that this will be my downfall in life.when i grow old,i will be a cranky woman who dont hv much friends and will spend all my days at home.sighs.but on a brighter note,my friends are people whom i really enjoy being with and i dont hv to pretend to be someone else when im with them.so yay,true friends ftw.and of course ihv my darling cousins tt grew up with me,mainly bryan n timothy.
i came to a conclusion that im nt a very passionate person in life.i have close to zero passion for things.i love animals.thats the one thing i hv a passion for but hv yet to do anything abt it.ok,maybe i hv passion in lotsa stuff but i hvnt done anything abt it yet.
1.animals
2.sports,namly TR,cycle.i secretly like running actually
3.nature
hmm..tt isnt alot right?but still,i dont know why im such a passion-less person.i should do smth about one of my passions and stop being a boring person.but i dont want to change who i am,honestly,im quite happy with the way my life is going now(except in certain aspects).but well,i need a passion before i become a boring,unfeeling person.
its weird but one of the things i like to do in life is to just go to a quiet place with nature around and just sit there and do nothing.just admire the scenery and watch the world go by.it doesnt really matter if im alone or with friends,sitting down quietly or just talking will make my day.i always feel so refreshed when i do smth like tt.
i just finish checking my email and OMG.it sucks.i hate checking mail after nt checking for like 2 days.but still,i feel tt im getting more irresponsible.im neither here nor there for all my activites and tt makes me feel like a dont belong anywhere plus i cant put my heart n soul in for anything.
i went for soccer friendly on sat and suprisingly,the team said i did quite well.i thought i was running ard like a headless chicken.i guess being small n able to run gives u a certain advantage.i feel pretty bad abt nt going for soccer trainings,esp since the cap is vicki.but i really cant drag myself dwn for soccer when u hv so much to do n feel so nua.GERMAINE LENG,you know these are excuses.in any case,im gonna play my heart out on sunday.vicki deserves tt frm me.
i'll bring up ntu bike rally to tee tmr.maybe we really need a common goal.
i shall go look in on grandmama b4 i slp but i gotta feeling that its gonna take a long long time.i love her so though.
do you ever feel outta place?
like somehow you just dont belong and no one understands you.
how can people understand me when i dont understand myself?hmm..but whatever.
i skipped ONO dinner again today.so as you can tell,im nt exactly the most sociable person on earth.i dont see how people can make the effort to go to a meeting to meet up with new friends/people that dont really matter to them.i have a feeling that this will be my downfall in life.when i grow old,i will be a cranky woman who dont hv much friends and will spend all my days at home.sighs.but on a brighter note,my friends are people whom i really enjoy being with and i dont hv to pretend to be someone else when im with them.so yay,true friends ftw.and of course ihv my darling cousins tt grew up with me,mainly bryan n timothy.
i came to a conclusion that im nt a very passionate person in life.i have close to zero passion for things.i love animals.thats the one thing i hv a passion for but hv yet to do anything abt it.ok,maybe i hv passion in lotsa stuff but i hvnt done anything abt it yet.
1.animals
2.sports,namly TR,cycle.i secretly like running actually
3.nature
hmm..tt isnt alot right?but still,i dont know why im such a passion-less person.i should do smth about one of my passions and stop being a boring person.but i dont want to change who i am,honestly,im quite happy with the way my life is going now(except in certain aspects).but well,i need a passion before i become a boring,unfeeling person.
its weird but one of the things i like to do in life is to just go to a quiet place with nature around and just sit there and do nothing.just admire the scenery and watch the world go by.it doesnt really matter if im alone or with friends,sitting down quietly or just talking will make my day.i always feel so refreshed when i do smth like tt.
i just finish checking my email and OMG.it sucks.i hate checking mail after nt checking for like 2 days.but still,i feel tt im getting more irresponsible.im neither here nor there for all my activites and tt makes me feel like a dont belong anywhere plus i cant put my heart n soul in for anything.
i went for soccer friendly on sat and suprisingly,the team said i did quite well.i thought i was running ard like a headless chicken.i guess being small n able to run gives u a certain advantage.i feel pretty bad abt nt going for soccer trainings,esp since the cap is vicki.but i really cant drag myself dwn for soccer when u hv so much to do n feel so nua.GERMAINE LENG,you know these are excuses.in any case,im gonna play my heart out on sunday.vicki deserves tt frm me.
i'll bring up ntu bike rally to tee tmr.maybe we really need a common goal.
i shall go look in on grandmama b4 i slp but i gotta feeling that its gonna take a long long time.i love her so though.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
new experience for me.the kids there quite poor thing.it only occured to me then that i am so lucky to have a home to go back to,have parents to talk to,and hv so many people to love me.
germaine,be thankful for what u have.
learn to appreciate what u have before wishing for something else.maybe somethings that you hv are things tt alot of people will die for.
this trip kinda open up the mother insticnt in me.shit right?ever since when did germaine leng comes with the word mother insticnt?i dunno how to spell instinct.ah.this is right.ya,i realised tt actually i kinda miss relief teaching and giving tuition.i find giving tuition more rewarding though.at least the dont hv the many many gangs tt run ard the classroom and scream and 'teacher,he scold me stupid'seriously ah..haha.kids can be quite funny.
yups.going for photoshoot now.i really dont wanna go but i think i owe in to vic.i hvnt been to a single training.shoot me.soon,its back to hall life.im abit scared by it but,well,u'll live.
i found some amazing blogs.
its nice to see pretty photos,inspirational quotes and whatnot.
germaine,be thankful for what u have.
learn to appreciate what u have before wishing for something else.maybe somethings that you hv are things tt alot of people will die for.
this trip kinda open up the mother insticnt in me.shit right?ever since when did germaine leng comes with the word mother insticnt?i dunno how to spell instinct.ah.this is right.ya,i realised tt actually i kinda miss relief teaching and giving tuition.i find giving tuition more rewarding though.at least the dont hv the many many gangs tt run ard the classroom and scream and 'teacher,he scold me stupid'seriously ah..haha.kids can be quite funny.
yups.going for photoshoot now.i really dont wanna go but i think i owe in to vic.i hvnt been to a single training.shoot me.soon,its back to hall life.im abit scared by it but,well,u'll live.
i found some amazing blogs.
its nice to see pretty photos,inspirational quotes and whatnot.
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