and so it happened.
the nuclear reactor in japan exploded.

how can so many bad things happen to the same group of people over a span pf less than one week?but thats life for you i guess.i feel very affected by what happened to japan.maybe its because i have seen so many pictures of japan and heard of their super high-tech stuff there.but somehow,seeing everything that they have become a pile of rubble,saddens me alot.i have never felt this way about a natural disaster before.i feel bad for doing daily things such as hanging around with my friends/laughing/not finishing my food.it feels wrong to be enjoying life when the people in japan are worried sick about their lives.i feel like a hypocrite when i do those things.like what happen in Hotel Rwanda when people just look at news coverage and say 'oh so sad' and they go back to eating their dinners in a high class restraunt.

im disappointed with some people.i wonder how they can think/say that people deserve such a mishap.and how they feel that other countries are being dragged into the whole thing even though its not their fault.so is it japan's fault that they live along the fault line?in the same way, its wrong to say that other countries are being affected by what happen there.and nobody, NOBODY deserves the nuclear bomb.2 wrongs dont make a right.and if you think like that and become a teacher next time,im sorry for the kids that you are going to teach.tell me where you teach and i will avoid sending my kids to that school.

i made a resolution not to judge people but its such a hard one.when people dont feel the way you do,you often feel that they are wrong.

i find it difficult to wrap my mind around the whole issue.how can there be a god when so many terrible and horrible stuff happen on earth?and its not just on earth, its the same exact spot on earth that so many horrible things are happening.meilani says that i will understand one day.i hope i will.i did pray for japan.i really do hope that they will be able to overcome this obstacle and become stronger.seriously,no looting,queueing for neccesities,i take my hat off.

seriously tee,if you dont think my msg makes sense tt so be it.f off.dont come and tell me your big logic and theory when im just concerned and want to share stuff with you.

i couldnt resist even though i told myself slp at 1230.

who am i to judge?i dunno.i think this world is nv fair.i nv thought tt a 10min interview is enough to determine a person's character.but apparently,thats what happens everywhere in the world.and thats how you end up with ppl on gov scholarship being caught for possessing child porn. there's got to be someone to determine your fate.maybe fate isnt tt good a word to use here,but well..u get it.someone has to do the cut.thats the way an organisation works.u cant have 100 ppl getting the same oscar.you just have to compete with the best and in the end,the best man wins.the man who wins may not be the best,but when you took up that challenge, you should learn to accept the T&Cs.it might not be fair,human prejuidices always get into the way but nothing's perfect.you just hv to come up with a way to eliminate people.of course, ideally,u would want to give everyone a chance.but there's the problem of cost to take into account too.

sometimes you just got to admit tt shit happens,and hell,it does happen often.if your attitude is to give in and complain and moan your life away about how unfair things are, then the one who lost is really you.you dont lose when you get eliminated,you lose when you let that one failure determine the rest of your life.

then again,its easy to preach.its about practising what you hold.

i wonder if the touch ruggers find me annoying.seriously,joining IVP when i cant throw a long ball?its a love hate relationship.im so excited to go for trainings but at the same time,im pretty nervous.and tt makes me do dumb stuff ie:drop ball,chuck ball.and kok scares me.karen doesnt,she's pretty nice.im torn btw staying and leaving.i need to ask someone if im screwing up their training.i dont want ppl to think tt im so thick skin to join IVP despite nt knowing how to tap and go.but when alycia asked,i thought it would be ok cuz she really reassured me tt as long as i have heart,they will want me.but apparently, i need thick skin, calm, and guts too.

trouble at home again recently.grandma performing stunts.which makes me wonder if i should stay in hall.but i want to.because i wont be able to concentrate at home cuz i'll be too obliged to look after grandma.and i need smth to distract me nxt year when all the chages start coming in again.and i want to play touch.its really at the point when you flip the coin tt you know what is it you really want.i have nv let flipping a coin determine my decisions.dont get me wrong,i do flip it.just tt most of time,i rethink my decision after flipping the coin.ahhh,humans

sometimes,i just get very tired with this world tt we live in

stupid

i feel like a dumb ass crybaby.
seriously,its close to one year of staying in hall.
why do i feel homesick suddenly?
maybe its beacuse i heard nainai making noise over the phone which means tt she is nt sleeping.
and that probably yeye and daddy will have a sleep-less night again.
what made it worse was that i could have went home.
so now im bawling in my room like a baby.
like seriously,get a life

im 20

and so im 20.
first time nt spending birthday at home but still,i had a great day.
with tee's suprise and finding nemo,the thai food.
my sweet hallies with the cake..i know they are up to something worse.i know them too well.i shall just wait.
and my super jc friends dawn,greog and fiona who came down all the way to nus for me.we had such a fun time talking.seriously,if i didnt hv any paper tmr,i would hv stayed the whole night.i love you girls.
plus daddy's sweet note:)
i have so much to be thankful for.
pls lord,if u are really up there,bless all the people i love and who love me back.
i feel so happy.
time to study now.cant wait for the CAs to be over.