I had alot of fun with AB blockers on saturday.
What's going to happen when I leave hall?
Am I that bad a friend who doesnt try to keep in contact?

I am secretly afraid that I am.
Right now, I just can't seem to find time for anything.
And its scary to think that nainai is starting to forget who I am.

I don't want to be a lonely person. I don't want to lose my group of friends.
Make the effort ok:/

I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us
Doesn't seem right these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try
Somehow the plan
Is always rearranged

It's so hard to say
But I've got to do what's best for me
You'll be okay

I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way

Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
And I watch them fall every time
Another color turns to gray
And it's just to hard
To watch it all
Slowly fade away

I'm leaving today
'Cause I gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay

I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way

What about us?
What about everything we've been through?
What about trust?
You know I never wanted to hurt you..
What about me?
What am I supposed to do?
 

I gotta leave but I'll miss you
So, I've got to move on and be who I am

Why do you have to go?
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
I'm trying to understand

We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now

I want you to stay

I gotta go my own way

I've got to move on and be who I am

I think I will be able to manage, but I might not be happy doing it. I find it difficult to be happy for you. Its weird when I can't be happy for you because its something that you want so badly.

Heck la:(

If I had no regard or whatsoever for EQ

Hi mel,
You know what? You really need to stop playing the one man show. I am the girl captain for a freaking reason and there are things that you need to discuss with me. You have freaking seniors who are more experienced than you and you need to go to them for help. Its not about you, you and you. What's the freaking asshole point of a discussion when we come to a conclusion only to have you pretend that the discussion does not exist? True, you can't please everyone but right now, you are pleasing no one. Seriously, you need to out your ego aside and freaking be a captain, you need your seniors so stop pissing them off. Stop being a whimp and asking me dumb shit stuff like why he whisper whisper to me. YOU HAVE A GOD DAMN FREAKING MOUTH. USE IT. ask him if you want to know. Do I look like an owl to you?

Hi Jo,
You know what? You need to stop being a petty boy, seriously you are worse than a girl. I think even I dont behave like that. The world will still continue spinning even if you dig a big hole and disappear into it. Noone is indispensable. Get it into your big head please. You got no idea how dumb you sound. Im tired of hearing you talk about how you are not being valued, if you want to be valued, do something about it, not just boycott. You dont have mouth also is it

I feel stupid.

I really did study for midterms pretty hard this time but I think the papers weren't all that easy. Am I just not clever or what:(

A series of unfortunate events which made me believe once again, that someone up there is watching over me.

I felt super stressed/nervous when I saw the Sheares girls training that day. Suddenly occurred to me that they are training properly and might not be so easy to beat anymore. Plus Alycia and Shadrina are gone. I suddenly realise that I have quite alot to lose.

I felt kinda jealous when I saw their training. Their senior support so strong. I am not saying that our senior support sucks, but still, I can't see any conflict in the Sheares seniors wheras I can see the conflict in ours. Dont get me wrong, I love our seniors (maybe a bit too much) but I dont agree with the way they do things sometimes. Neither do I agree with Melvin. That makes me a loner:(

I was pretty distracted with all the touch nonsense and all the whisper whisper so I couldnt study for my GEK paper. Luckily I went to sleep. I cant imagine what would have happened if I found out about Nis on the night before the paper.

Sometimes there are so many coincidences in life that you need to believe that they are actually planned out. Like how Nis finished his antibiotics before the mass came out. I would have felt really bad if I didnt take him to the vet. And how I fell asleep at 11pm when I havent done that in ages. Maybe Nis loves me too much the way Presto loves grandma. He wants to wait for the important things to be over before he burdens me with his problems. I really love him alot :/ I dont know what will happen if he pass on. But I am quite proud of myself. I think I am made of pretty strong character.

When I heard that Nis was in the hospital, there was really that split second there that it didnt register then I started crying after that. I really wanted someone to comfort me and tell me not to worry. I am after all, a girl who needs someone to lean on. It felt weird that I couldnt reach tee. So wanna guess who is the next person that I wanted to reach? :/ I guess it was just that need for companionship. I wonder how I am going to survive if tee goes overseas though.

I really wanna be that supportive girlfriend. Like how Shannon's gf supports him and tells him openly on fb that she will wait for him.But I dont have that courage, I am scared, I dont know if I dont trust him or I dont trust myself:(

But I promise to work towards it.

"When you want to be successful as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful!"