ANGST.

I am feeling angsty.
Its a sucky feeling, the heart beats fast, the brain is running ahead of the thinking and I can't sit still.

Here goes.
I lend tee the car without telling dad. Because no one would be using the car and I didn't see what could happen if he just drives to camp and drives back. But things are not always so simple ah. So anyway, he lent the car to his friends and they managed o get a ticket from crossing ERP without a card.
AND, the engine light is on.

There is a lesson learnt from this. That we shouldn't keep small things from each other. If I had told him that dad didn't know he was using the car, he wouldn't have lend it to his friend. If he had told me that he lent his friends the car, I would have said no because my dad didn't know.
Well, you get my point.

So, last night while he was sleeping, I happened to see his msg with his friends. And I found out about how they refuel the car and blah blah blah. I was quite annoyed. What happened to not keeping small things from each other? It feels like he intentionally wanted to keep the whole refueling thing from me. Plus, it wasn't Eugene who drove the car.

I know I shouldn't have looked at his msgs, but I really wanted to know what happened. And I also saw him flirting with someone. Ok, I really shouldn't have looked.
I know its normal to flirt and hell, I do it too. But seeing him flirt with that girl made me feel weird. Esp when I have had dreams about him and that girl.
Its not his fault,  I should learn to respect people's privacy.
But my sixth sense really scares me sometimes.

I don't want to stress him but I am feeling very frustrated and angsty about the car. And I think he just went out today and he didn't even tell me. I hate it when this happens. Is it very difficult to tell me that you are going out? Or to check your msgs once in a while and reply me?

Its very frustrating.

The week without dad is almost over. Well, I survived, not as difficult as I thought it would be. I have tons of work that has yet to be done. And recess week is in 1 week time. This is so scary.
But on the flip side, I'm going for recce this wednesday with Siva.

UROPS has helped me more than I know. Like how I thought about things that people didn't when we did the experiment design thingy (great, another assignment). Its cool. I am being trained to think intelligently like a scientist even without realising it.

I like how my modules are tying up nicely with each other. Even though they make me very busy. Everything is linked and it makes me happy. I really need to study to pull up my CAP. CAP CAP CAP. omg. stress.

I love school, yes, I think I really do. Esp when I am studying about things I love and when they tie up nicely together. I like to see links:)

Well, I am feeling better now.