Weird dream about the bro last night. Dreamt that I lay on his shoulder. It didn't feel romantic though. It felt perfectly normal. Like how I would lie on Bryan or on a girlfriend. I think I simply miss the physical contact. Miss how it feels like To have that lil bit of body contact, miss how it feels to have your hand held and how it feels to be hugged.
Had a fun day out with him today even though the soy bean tart failed.

Conservation biology. Is that where I really wanna go? If I'm going to do it for a job., will I have to take a masters? Will I want to take the masters, is it worth while to study for another 2 years when I know that I will prolly stay home after having kids? How does that fits into his plans?

He finally sees the problem that I see. That we might not be happy with each other because it means giving up on things that we hold dear to us. He knows he is going to be happy alone. But he isn't so sure when things are going to come to us. It makes me sad that even he feels like that. Esp when he trusts in our relationship so much. I wonder if we will eventually break up. I told him that I love him, it makes me feel vulnerable but maybe meila is right. Maybe he has the right to make me feel vulnerable. It's just that exposing all your feelings when you don't really know how the other party feels is scary. I like how things are btw us now. I feel more secure and that we are really having conversations. I hope what happened tonight doesn't change anything.

I wonder how my future will be like. If I will end up with him. Would I rather end up with someone who has similar ideals like me and want to make a difference to this world? Someone whom with I can explore the forests with. Someone I know who will be there physically for me.

My heart feels funny. I miss him alot tonight.