Every year during festive seasons, one thing comes to my mind.
Its not a happy thought but it makes me treasure what I have even more.

It seems that every year, I would think to myself if this would be the last year that I be celebrating CNY with nainai. Somehow, she seems to be getting weaker and weaker. And it pains me to see yeye so affected by her. Like how he asks about blowing up the passport photo, and how he always tells me 'hen fan'. He is a very strong person, and he loves nainai with all his heart. It would tear him apart if something happens to her.

I want to be for him when that happens and keep him company forever. I can imagine how sad and lonely he would be. I daresay that I might be the next closest to him after nainai. He seems so..fragile. But it would also mean shelfing away my dreams and passion. Is it selfish to think like that? But deep down, I know that is what I need to and want to do.

These two people were the ones who looked after me ever since I was a kid. Meals, school, piano lessons, baths, clothes, they really did everything for me. Its only right that I love them the way they do with me. Its not because I need to, but because I want to.

Its scary how fast she is deproving. The photos that we take every year clearly shows it. From how she smiles to not smile, to close eyes. But that only means that I should love them more and make full use of whatever time I have left with them.